“Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it. And then he feels that perhaps there isn't.” A.A. Milne
Have you noticed that when you’re alone your emotions change and you have more time to think, often negative thoughts?
Do you think you have no friends?
Or maybe you think other people are better than you in their achievements?
Maybe you sit and think that others will judge you?
Maybe the fear of going out feels too scary?
When we feel emotional, we get caught up in that emotion - it is difficult to think clearly and see the bigger picture at those times, we can yo-yo in our thinking. We also react by doing things that are unhelpful. It seems like doing those things help at the time, like withdrawing or comfort eating, but by reacting the same way all the time, we just keep the problem going. We remain isolated. We are more likely to only see one perspective. We do less. Our mood remains low and then we can start to feel even worse.
This is why the STOPP technique is really useful. Stopping to take a breath firstly allows our limbic system to slow down. This helps the parasympathetic nervous system to get online. When we do this, we are more able to think in a wider context, observing what is going on in the present. We are able then able to challenge our negative thinking and then start to consider different perspectives. In doing this, we can also challenge our behaviours.
Here is a useful video on the STOPP technique, the fundamentals of what we use in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Why not try it?
If you’d like more guidance on how to improve your wellbeing or that of your workforce, we have kindness in our hearts and competence at our core. Please get in touch with us at Moonstir for a confidential discussion.
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